Birds Facing Forward
Usually, if a bird is looking directly at you it means you are having a bad day. Either it is feeling peckish and you are about to become somebody’s lunch, or, perhaps more likely in this day and age, you have offended it in some manner and it is attempting to place you under a Bird Curse using its eldritch magic. Although neither of these threats are to be taken lightly, sometimes, if Ethan is feeling reckless and has an adequate supply of bandages and protective amulets, he will venture outdoors to antagonize birds in search of that most cursed of shots, the forward-facing bird. Below are the results of some of these occasions but proceed at your own risk for the front of a birds face is an unnatural visage that mortal eyes were never meant to behold.
This Great Blue Heron is trying to hex Ethan for sure but isn’t very good at it and just looks sort of goofy. Maybe if it visited the bird chiropractor Ethan would take it more seriously.
Cyclarhis “The Brow” gujanensis, or the Rufous-Browed Peppershrike if ya nasty, is undoubtably a cool bird but is a bit weak in the Bird Magic department. Ethan was able to fend this guy off with a just a few sprigs of sage and a sprinkle of holy water.
Ethan can’t lie, he thought he was a goner for sure when this Roadside Hawk began eyeing him. Fortunately, Ethan was able to scare him away by pretending to be an even larger Roadside Hawk.
The White-Browed Scimitar-Babbler is without a doubt one of the most malevolent presences that Ethan has ever had the misfortune to encounter. The night after Ethan inadvertently disrupted a Black Mass held deep in a thicket while photographing this individual, he had a dream in which he was pancaked by a milk truck whilst building a sandcastle. If it had not been for his protective ankh amulet, this fate surely would have befallen him in real life as well.
This Black-Browed Tit is certainly upset about something, probably that Ethan cheated in their weekly game of Pusoy Dos. Whatever it is, this fellow is channeling his rage into a powerful curse. Indeed since taking this picture, Ethan’s crops have withered, his milk went putrid two weeks before the expiration date, and he thinks he saw a locust with the face of a man.
Oh no! This Spot-Breasted Parrotbill is so powerful that it is able to curse YOU across time and space through the screen of your device. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. But you still have a chance to escape unscathed if you sprinkle your phone with salt, say 77 Hail Mary’s (preferably in Aramaic), and send this website to 10 of your friends within the next 24 hours.
They say you can tell a lot about a person based on their initial reaction to the face of a Black-Throated Tit. Do you see a jovial, open-mouthed smile, a pair of suspicious eyes over a magnificent muttonchop beard, the international radiation symbol, or something else. Whatever you see, you have also been cursed so good luck with that.
This Yellow-Breasted Bunting, one of the most endangered birds on the planet, is not a a force to be trifled with. She has a clear motive, a history of violence, and nothing to lose. If something terrible happens to Ethan at some during the next 70 years (the maximum length of a Bird Curse), it will definitely be because of this bird.